a letter to her...

when the soles of these feet are worn,
and my rainbow still seems far away,
could you hold me in your arms,
and tell me I’m strong, be my strength?

if my heart’s running from this world,
and my feet have forgotten the way,
could you hold my hand to never let go,
and bring me back, show me where’s home?

should I lose my mind, forget how to trust,
and break your heart to cause you hurt,
could you pardon me the sentence of hate,
still believe in our love and remind me the same?

when my time comes, the reaper’s call,
and my body surrenders it’s last breath,
could you save me a little space in your garden,
where, in peace my soul could forever rest?

I used to wonder if I could live without you,
when the only music to my soul is the sound of your voice,

but now I’m sure I can’t live without you,
cause it is only to the rhythm of your loving heart,
that my feet have know to dance…

i believe.

i believe,
in the supreme being above,
even when i can't see him with eyes blinded by his light.
in the happiness of love,
even when i'm left lonely, with a broken heart.

i believe,
in compassion and humanity,
even as man brutally kills and guiltless lies.
in the heaven above,
even when the flames of hell burn in his devils eyes.

i believe,
in the glory of victory,
even when i suffer the loss of helpless defeat.
in the flawlessness of the truth,
even if i'm surrounded by deceit and untrue lies.

i believe,
in the dawn of tomorrow,
even if the darkness of the night drowns the light.
in the beauty of life,
even when the ugly face of death wrecks fear in my heart.

i believe,
in miracles,
even if science explains my confusion,

cause i believe,
the fabric of reality is woven,
with nothing but the threads of an illusion.

the jinx.

P.S. Hani,
love you for making this poem better.

Bumpeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

No, I’m not calling out to my dog! And no, neither am I calling out to my guinea pig. Before you start imagining what else I’m talking about here, let me tell you, I’m talking about one of my best friends. Should your imagination run wild again, calm down and relax. He’s a pure-bred human. Acts like an animal sometimes, but don’t let that mislead you. He’s definitely human!

Okay fine, enough of taking his case. I’m sure he’s cursing me now, but I also am sure that he’ll be on his way here to save me, if I call saying, “I’m in trouble.” God bless you dude!

To say the least, he’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. He totally rocks man! he’s so patient, that he’ll sit before his computer for days, waiting for it to read his mind, and do what he want it to, before he loses his patience and gets off his lazy bum to type the command instead. That’s him! Patiently lazy! Where do you find guys like those now!

When you first meet him, you’ll be thinking to yourself, “Nice guy man, he’s seems so sober and quiet.” But boy, are you in for a surprise or what! He might seem very quiet and sober, but that’s probably the worst judgment you’ll ever make of him! He’s mad enough to make a mental hospital full of about thirty thousand mad-men, look like the annual meeting of the Intellectual’s Art Society! Don’t be surprised if you find him talking about drifting on a road-roller, in the middle of a damn stadium! That’s like his biggest dream. Crazy is an understatement, if you’re using the word to describe him.

Ask him about his girlfriend, and he’ll tell you, “She’s Italian.” And by the time you’re done digesting the fact that such an ugly looking dude can get an Italian woman to go out with him, he’ll say, “and she weighs about 1.2 tonnes only!” Before you can even try to imagine what she looks like, he’ll say, “She’s the most beautiful lady he’s ever seen in his life!” I’m sure, by the time he has said this much, you are already considering the fact that this dude is mentally unstable. But don’t worry; he’s only slightly screwed in the head. He’ll soon be telling you that he’s talking about his “baby”, that is, his car! Don’t be scared if you sometimes see him planting a kiss on his car’s bonnet. It’s all an everyday thing for bumpy!

Well, one big warning! If you see him driving, don’t, under any circumstance drive behind him and honk like a mad man. He won’t do much. He’ll simply follow you till land’s end, and keep honking while on the way there! He’ll neither overtake you, nor let you speed away. He’ll just stay behind you, honking away to glory, with a smirk on his face that’ll scare even the damn devil!

With all that said, I can’t say that there is no more. There’s definitely a lot more to say. But I guess it’ll be too much information to digest at one go. But, there’ll be a continuation soon.

P.S.: Bumpy,
We love you!
you’re the best!

remember this my friend...

Your loss is not just yours, but ours. As much as I want to say, “I understand”, I can’t. But I will yet say that the loss is ours. At this time, as you grieve; amidst the melancholy of your conflicting thoughts, there are a few things that I must remind you. Things that you must never forget.

Your grieving is justified. I join you in your grief. You must grieve, I would. But when you are done grieving, you must remember what I’m about to say.

She’s happy, wherever she is. And she loves you. She always did, and she always will. You love her, and that’s all that ever mattered to her. She knew your love was sincere and nothing but true. Sometimes, what happens seems unjust and cruel. But remember, there is no such thing as coincidence. There’s only providence! What happened was slated to happen. You did all that you could, and more. She knows that. She would never forget.

I know she taught you a lot of things, made you the person you are. Remember, the best way to pay her back, is to make the best of all that she taught you. Wish her good morning, every dawn; good night, every time you sleep. Remember, she’s watching over you. She will never let you be alone. You are, and will always be a part of her. Just the way, she will always be a part of you.

Remember to be happy. That’s all that she would’ve ever wanted from you.

The bad lawyer.

The first time he saw her, he was done for. She had an aura, a presence, something. He never could tell what it was, but the thought of her made him smile. She was the only person who read him the way she did. Without him saying even a word, she had figured out things about him that he hadn't even admitted to the best of his friends, or if to say a little more hadn’t admitted to anyone on this planet.

When she told him what she really thought of him, he was taken aback. Not because he hadn’t expected her to say nice things, but he’d never in his life ever thought, that anyone could read him the way she had. He freaked out, and how! For a few minutes, his brain had gone numb. This guy, who kept his real self such a closely guarded secret, was suddenly out there in the open, with no cover, no illusions to hide behind, just out there in the open, naked, stripped of his armor and robbed of his artillery. He was scared, petrified actually. Scared that he was done for, shocked that something like this could be happening to him.

He was a very private person, on the inside that is. On the surface he was this guy who was friendly, crazy, someone who people thought, they knew everything about. He quite liked to keep it that way. He wasn’t your regular guy. He was different. The way he thought, the way he spoke, the way he saw things, he was different in every way known to man. And he knew that his ideas, his perspective and his thoughts, were such that people couldn’t even understand, forget accept them. The day he realized this, he changed. Not from within, but from the outside. He started wearing a mask that he never took off or only took off partially when with some people, the very few people that he trusted. His world was for himself only. People weren’t allowed there, they weren’t ever let in. But then, she came along and stormed in without invitation.

He was an engineer by profession, but a musician and an artist by heart. She was a lawyer, “the bad lawyer”, as he called her, and an artist. After getting over the shock of what she knew about him, his brain had finally started to lose the numbness that had held his brain captive, he started to think. He never did believe in coincidence. He always said, “There is no such thing as coincidence, there’s only providence.” At that moment he realized, his heart had intervened. Intervened and how! His heart had fallen, fallen in love. In love with this angel. This “bad lawyer”! She hadn’t needed to do much. By just being around, she made him feel secure. He was addicted. He knew that he wouldn’t live that happy life that he craved for, without her. She was his happiness now. She was his angel. He knew what he had to do. And he did, much to her shock, he asked her to spend her life with him.

But the great man up there had different scenes planned for this story. She was shocked at his proposal. She always thought that he was too practical and too calculative to do anything of this sort. She had always had a feeling that he liked her, but never did she imagine that he could love her. Wrong as she was, he always had followed his heart. He’d never done anything in his life that his heart hadn’t approved of, nor had he ever not done something that his heart had prescribed. But she didn’t know that about him. She was surprised, but pleasantly. Unfortunately for her, by the time all of this had happened, she’d grown quite fond of him. She’d gotten used to the security that she felt when he was around. He had become more integral and essential a part of her life than she had decided she would make him. She loved the sound of his voice. Loved the way he treated her. Loved the way he made her blush. And most of all, missed the way he’d hold her if he were there, with her.

But yet she was scared. Scared because it seemed too perfect to be true. She couldn’t really ever admit, not even to herself that she loved him. But she couldn’t let him go either. She had no choice. She knew she wouldn’t be able to live without him. She asked him for time. He gave her what she asked for, like always. He had a weakness. He never denied her anything, never could actually.
And from that fateful day, she’s been fighting. Fighting a case she had already lost even before she had taken it up. Not that she didn’t know this, but she took it up anyway. And she fought! Fought to win. Fought for their love. And fought for the life that she wanted to have with him. And that’s where she got her name, “the bad lawyer”.

She never realized that she already had everything that she ever could have dreamed off. And she knew it better than anyone else that she had fallen in love with a man who’d never let her down, who would give his life, if only for her happiness.
But she yet fights the case, “the bad lawyer” that she is!

the "illusion"

footprints in the sand,
blown away by the indifferent wind,
a sandcastle on the shore,
standing against the wrath of the tide,
as destiny written,
judgment of fate,
the glory, in denial,
would but sink.

the darkness, the glory of the night,
shattered by the un-intent arrogance of the light,
the flow of the mighty river, hindered,
withering the pebble,
audacious, not arrogant, ignorant,
yet choosing to fight.

the power of sight,
clowded by the lack of vision,
failing to see the eyes of the blind,
intuition.
a wish tied to the tail of a shooting star,
overshadowing, a lesson lost in the dim moonlight,
the truth behind the illusion,
the journey,

is but the destination!

lest i forget...

Even the devil can lose his soul,

Hollowness can make an empty space, a whole.

Even a right can do a wrong,

But there’s hope even if you think it’s gone…

A beginning must come to an end,

And compassion must once meet hate.

Even the light must see the dark,

To learn that it must sustain…

The sun must, also see the shadows,

And the fullness will, but see the hollows,

The truth must at least, once get lost in a lie,

To learn why to live,

Not give up and die…

An answer must surely meet a question,

And an error, should meet perfection,

Cause sometimes, the only way to happiness,

Is to breakdown and cry…